Kelly, this makes me so happy to hear! That shift was such a lightbulb moment for me too. Once I saw the difference, I couldn’t unsee it. I’m so glad it landed for you in the same way!
I love what you’ve written here. So clear and so deep, so rich and so multi-layered!
It’s not just about the clothes…. It’s not just the visual, but the mindset, how you want to show up inside the clothes, what are you communicating? How do you want to engage with the world outside your corporeal self?
Thank you, that means a lot. And that last question you posed of how do you want to engage with the world outside your corporeal self is exactly it. Letting style reflect how you already move through the world. I’m so glad this resonated.
Asta!!!!!!! This is incredible!! I think you’ll know I mean this as a compliment—I wish I wrote this!!!! What an incredible blend of centering other people’s experience while giving tangible advice. I am amazed. Saving for later!!
I have struggled with the 3 words because I wear seemingly contradictory styles. But you have helped me think in a different way. It's less about describing the clothes than describing the feeling. I hear Amy talk about mindset all the time, but I got waylaid because I wear Tibi yet I'm not really CMC. Anyway, some real gems that caught my eye: it's how we show up INSIDE the clothing, and an uncharacteristic item adapts to us, not the other way around. Thanks a ton, Asta 💖
I so get that. I’ve been there too. It’s easy to get tripped up when your wardrobe feels like a mix of “contradictions,” but honestly, that’s what makes this approach more freeing. And I feel you on the Tibi/C.M.C. thing! It took me a while to realize that even if I’m not classic in the traditional sense, I am those words in my own way. So glad some of this clicked for you. Thanks for reading and reflecting so deeply.
Okay, WOW, this is so good. That distinction between words that describe clothes and words that describe feelings or people is incredible and immediately rings true to me.
Thanks for reading and sharing, Devon. That’s exactly it. When words describe you (proverbial) somehow they seem to stretch and evolve better with you.
You are sooo right. I often think (over think) about my three words as being a bit of a spectrum that I move along - for example- simple sometimes means minimal, but can mean relaxed or classic depending on the feeling I am going for. Polished for me seems to almost be about volume- sometimes I want a little or sometimes lot but the sound is always on, and finally warm. Warm is a critical part of my formula- sometimes it’s literal - about adding a third layer for physical warmth, sometimes it’s about texture bringing in wool, or woven leather or a soft piece to balance a look and sometimes it’s about colour those autumnal tones I love. It took trial and error to understand why my words are my words but now I feel like they guide me but provide so much space for me to be creative.
I love this so much. The way you’ve broken down your words and how their meaning shifts depending on context is exactly what makes this method feel expansive rather than restrictive. I especially love how you’ve thought about warm in all those layers (literal, tonal, emotional). That kind of nuance is what turns words into a creative tool, not a box. Thank you for sharing this, it’s such a thoughtful reflection.
Good with color and words! What can’t you do? I’ve changed my words twice in the last two weeks due to words that you’ve used. Thanks for continuing to break our minds open to new ways of thinking!
This made me smile so big, thank you! Honestly, I’m just figuring it out in real time and sharing as I go, so the fact that anything I’ve said helped shift something for you means the world. Here’s to words that keep evolving right alongside us!
Oh, and how could I have forgotten to include shape along with color and words! I love that you are so directly applying your graphic design knowledge to styling, and sharing your knowledge with us all!
This does make a lot of sense. I love AB and her methodology behind choosing the words, but I agree with the difference in picking three words that describe moods instead of aesthetics. It for sure makes a huge difference. I recently shifted my style words, and I think you’ve captured here why the shift feels so much better for me. Also, your poster is beautiful!
Thank you so much! I love hearing that this helped you put words to why your shift felt so right. AB’s methodology is brilliant, and I think the beauty of all this is that there’s room to personalize it even more. When the words tap into how you feel rather than just how you look, things just start to flow. And thank you about the poster. what a full-circle moment that it came back around like this!
Oh this is just brilliant! I too have struggled with my style words. Its gone from comfortable - elevated - effortless (what was I thinking) to relaxed - modern - textured (better but not right)…
Now I'm thinking that when I lean into my adult-diagnosed adhd self and my related changing and refined taste and preferences (now that most of the noise in my head is chilled), this is where I'm heading:
Chill - layered or dimensional - adaptable
At 58, I'm in the throes of unregulated body temperature, so you bet I'm going to find pieces that are sleeveless, that can convert from a cardigan to a halter top or a skirt (just no zip off pants-to-shorts unless Tibi or COS create a stunning interpretation), or can be worn open, closed, or wrapped around a waist/neck/shoulders or worn multiple ways on its own due to garment construction. Think Tibi’s tropical wool tie front dress! A new brand to me, but many pieces are perfect and at the outer edge of my style words.
Ohhh I love this share so much. The evolution of your words is such a great example of how they’re living things, meant to shift as we shift. “Chill - layered/dimensional - adaptable” feels so grounded in both your lifestyle and your stage of life, and I think that’s the sweet spot where words start working really hard for you.
And yes, you articulated something I’ve been thinking a lot about: adaptability doesn’t have to mean gimmicky zip-off pants, it can mean clever garment construction that makes pieces feel alive on the body. That tropical wool tie front dress is such a perfect callout.
Thank you for bringing this perspective into the conversation. I know a lot of us will see ourselves in it.
Wow. Despite definitely having a particular style, first time ever I thought about how one would describe it in three words. It was quite the challenge! Thank you very much, what a breakthrough, for me. Brings so much clarity to my choices, whether buying new items or putting together outfits. Haven’t gotten to describing style feeling or vibe yet. So far only the description. Heritage utilitarian chic! That was a tough one, for me, to put in three words. It’s doesn’t quite describe the feeling, yet. I’ll get there. You are so very beautiful, talented, generous, brilliant and inspiring! Feeling grateful☺️
Wow, thank you, truly. I’m so moved this sparked something for you. I know how tricky it can be to distill something so layered into just three words, but it sounds like you’re already on such a thoughtful track. Heritage utilitarian chic is so evocative, can’t wait to see what feelings or energy start to emerge from that foundation. And thank you again for your incredibly kind words. I’m feeling very grateful right back.
This was incredibly helpful! I’ve been feeling good about 2/3 words (now knowing they describe feeling instead of the clothes) and now swapped colorful for vibrant and things have clicked into place!
I love that! It’s amazing how one small word shift can suddenly make everything feel aligned. Colorful to vibrant is such a great example. Still expressive, but with more energy and flexibility. So glad this helped things click into place for you!
100% feel you -- I too work with DNA in my "day job" and require that each word have teeth AND emotion. Teeth so a design team can design to it and writers write to it (so not just "lovely") and emotion (so not like "black" which a designer once put forth as a DNA word ;-)). I wanna work with YOU! xx
I found this differentiation so helpful! I actually switched my style words around a year or so ago and didn't even realize this was why. It's so much more helpful to lean into the vibe or feeling than box ourselves into an aesthetic.
Yes, exactly! It’s so interesting how we sometimes intuitively make the shift before we even have the language for why. Once you realize it’s more about vibe than visuals, it opens everything up. I’m so glad the post helped make that connection clearer!
I love how you talk about this as a feeling! I'm not surprised that your words are close to Amy's - you are now inextricably tied to Tibi in my head :)
This is such a key concept, and you’ve articulated it so well, Asta! My words are Badass, Sporty/Playful, and Artsy. Badass in particular has really helped me focus on how pieces make me feel.
Thank you so much! I love your words especially how unapologetic and grounded Badass is. It’s such a great example of a feeling-first word that instantly sets the tone. And I totally get what you mean, when a piece hits that emotional note, everything else just falls into place. So glad the post resonated!
Holy cow, you just blew my mind. The difference in describing the clothing vs the feeling. This is genuinely new information to me and WOW is it good.
Kelly, this makes me so happy to hear! That shift was such a lightbulb moment for me too. Once I saw the difference, I couldn’t unsee it. I’m so glad it landed for you in the same way!
You are brilliant
Same same Kelly. The feeling makes sense. 💯
I love what you’ve written here. So clear and so deep, so rich and so multi-layered!
It’s not just about the clothes…. It’s not just the visual, but the mindset, how you want to show up inside the clothes, what are you communicating? How do you want to engage with the world outside your corporeal self?
Thank you, that means a lot. And that last question you posed of how do you want to engage with the world outside your corporeal self is exactly it. Letting style reflect how you already move through the world. I’m so glad this resonated.
Asta!!!!!!! This is incredible!! I think you’ll know I mean this as a compliment—I wish I wrote this!!!! What an incredible blend of centering other people’s experience while giving tangible advice. I am amazed. Saving for later!!
Omg that’s such a nice compliment and truly no other way to take it. Thank you so much for being so supportive, Maureen ❤️❤️
I have struggled with the 3 words because I wear seemingly contradictory styles. But you have helped me think in a different way. It's less about describing the clothes than describing the feeling. I hear Amy talk about mindset all the time, but I got waylaid because I wear Tibi yet I'm not really CMC. Anyway, some real gems that caught my eye: it's how we show up INSIDE the clothing, and an uncharacteristic item adapts to us, not the other way around. Thanks a ton, Asta 💖
I so get that. I’ve been there too. It’s easy to get tripped up when your wardrobe feels like a mix of “contradictions,” but honestly, that’s what makes this approach more freeing. And I feel you on the Tibi/C.M.C. thing! It took me a while to realize that even if I’m not classic in the traditional sense, I am those words in my own way. So glad some of this clicked for you. Thanks for reading and reflecting so deeply.
Okay, WOW, this is so good. That distinction between words that describe clothes and words that describe feelings or people is incredible and immediately rings true to me.
Thanks for reading and sharing, Devon. That’s exactly it. When words describe you (proverbial) somehow they seem to stretch and evolve better with you.
You are sooo right. I often think (over think) about my three words as being a bit of a spectrum that I move along - for example- simple sometimes means minimal, but can mean relaxed or classic depending on the feeling I am going for. Polished for me seems to almost be about volume- sometimes I want a little or sometimes lot but the sound is always on, and finally warm. Warm is a critical part of my formula- sometimes it’s literal - about adding a third layer for physical warmth, sometimes it’s about texture bringing in wool, or woven leather or a soft piece to balance a look and sometimes it’s about colour those autumnal tones I love. It took trial and error to understand why my words are my words but now I feel like they guide me but provide so much space for me to be creative.
I love this so much. The way you’ve broken down your words and how their meaning shifts depending on context is exactly what makes this method feel expansive rather than restrictive. I especially love how you’ve thought about warm in all those layers (literal, tonal, emotional). That kind of nuance is what turns words into a creative tool, not a box. Thank you for sharing this, it’s such a thoughtful reflection.
Good with color and words! What can’t you do? I’ve changed my words twice in the last two weeks due to words that you’ve used. Thanks for continuing to break our minds open to new ways of thinking!
This made me smile so big, thank you! Honestly, I’m just figuring it out in real time and sharing as I go, so the fact that anything I’ve said helped shift something for you means the world. Here’s to words that keep evolving right alongside us!
Oh, and how could I have forgotten to include shape along with color and words! I love that you are so directly applying your graphic design knowledge to styling, and sharing your knowledge with us all!
OMG thank you, srsly <3
This does make a lot of sense. I love AB and her methodology behind choosing the words, but I agree with the difference in picking three words that describe moods instead of aesthetics. It for sure makes a huge difference. I recently shifted my style words, and I think you’ve captured here why the shift feels so much better for me. Also, your poster is beautiful!
Thank you so much! I love hearing that this helped you put words to why your shift felt so right. AB’s methodology is brilliant, and I think the beauty of all this is that there’s room to personalize it even more. When the words tap into how you feel rather than just how you look, things just start to flow. And thank you about the poster. what a full-circle moment that it came back around like this!
Yes totally! Thanks for sharing your thinking on this.
Oh this is just brilliant! I too have struggled with my style words. Its gone from comfortable - elevated - effortless (what was I thinking) to relaxed - modern - textured (better but not right)…
Now I'm thinking that when I lean into my adult-diagnosed adhd self and my related changing and refined taste and preferences (now that most of the noise in my head is chilled), this is where I'm heading:
Chill - layered or dimensional - adaptable
At 58, I'm in the throes of unregulated body temperature, so you bet I'm going to find pieces that are sleeveless, that can convert from a cardigan to a halter top or a skirt (just no zip off pants-to-shorts unless Tibi or COS create a stunning interpretation), or can be worn open, closed, or wrapped around a waist/neck/shoulders or worn multiple ways on its own due to garment construction. Think Tibi’s tropical wool tie front dress! A new brand to me, but many pieces are perfect and at the outer edge of my style words.
Thank you!!!
Ohhh I love this share so much. The evolution of your words is such a great example of how they’re living things, meant to shift as we shift. “Chill - layered/dimensional - adaptable” feels so grounded in both your lifestyle and your stage of life, and I think that’s the sweet spot where words start working really hard for you.
And yes, you articulated something I’ve been thinking a lot about: adaptability doesn’t have to mean gimmicky zip-off pants, it can mean clever garment construction that makes pieces feel alive on the body. That tropical wool tie front dress is such a perfect callout.
Thank you for bringing this perspective into the conversation. I know a lot of us will see ourselves in it.
Wow. Despite definitely having a particular style, first time ever I thought about how one would describe it in three words. It was quite the challenge! Thank you very much, what a breakthrough, for me. Brings so much clarity to my choices, whether buying new items or putting together outfits. Haven’t gotten to describing style feeling or vibe yet. So far only the description. Heritage utilitarian chic! That was a tough one, for me, to put in three words. It’s doesn’t quite describe the feeling, yet. I’ll get there. You are so very beautiful, talented, generous, brilliant and inspiring! Feeling grateful☺️
Wow, thank you, truly. I’m so moved this sparked something for you. I know how tricky it can be to distill something so layered into just three words, but it sounds like you’re already on such a thoughtful track. Heritage utilitarian chic is so evocative, can’t wait to see what feelings or energy start to emerge from that foundation. And thank you again for your incredibly kind words. I’m feeling very grateful right back.
This was incredibly helpful! I’ve been feeling good about 2/3 words (now knowing they describe feeling instead of the clothes) and now swapped colorful for vibrant and things have clicked into place!
I love that! It’s amazing how one small word shift can suddenly make everything feel aligned. Colorful to vibrant is such a great example. Still expressive, but with more energy and flexibility. So glad this helped things click into place for you!
100% feel you -- I too work with DNA in my "day job" and require that each word have teeth AND emotion. Teeth so a design team can design to it and writers write to it (so not just "lovely") and emotion (so not like "black" which a designer once put forth as a DNA word ;-)). I wanna work with YOU! xx
I LOVE that. So curious about your methodology. I would love to srsly do this!! How do we do that?
I found this differentiation so helpful! I actually switched my style words around a year or so ago and didn't even realize this was why. It's so much more helpful to lean into the vibe or feeling than box ourselves into an aesthetic.
Yes, exactly! It’s so interesting how we sometimes intuitively make the shift before we even have the language for why. Once you realize it’s more about vibe than visuals, it opens everything up. I’m so glad the post helped make that connection clearer!
I love how you talk about this as a feeling! I'm not surprised that your words are close to Amy's - you are now inextricably tied to Tibi in my head :)
SO true! There's a reason the brand resonates so much with me.
This is such a key concept, and you’ve articulated it so well, Asta! My words are Badass, Sporty/Playful, and Artsy. Badass in particular has really helped me focus on how pieces make me feel.
Awesome article!
Thank you so much! I love your words especially how unapologetic and grounded Badass is. It’s such a great example of a feeling-first word that instantly sets the tone. And I totally get what you mean, when a piece hits that emotional note, everything else just falls into place. So glad the post resonated!
Amen to all the above but gotta say that Paris outfit of yours is utterly perfectly 🤌
Hmm not sure if that emoji means chefs kiss but it’s meant to 😂
Haha I totally got that! Thank you so much.