Why we (maybe) buy: That The Row jacket dupe

Overthinking every purchase so you don’t have to. (But also maybe you should.)

Why We Buy is a series where I examine my purchasing decisions. Not to justify them (though occasionally that too), but to understand them. I’m trying to get clearer on why I acquire what I do. What draws me in? What patterns keep repeating? What purchases feel aligned, and which ones were just plain wrong.

The goal is to better understand my style, my impulses, my aspirations. Mostly for me.
But if you see yourself in any of these spirals, welcome. Let’s overthink together.

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Rule #4 of my internal wardrobe constitution: No dupes.

Not because I think I’m better than them. I don’t drink bone broth (I have tried!) or say investment piece with a straight face. It’s just that I know myself. If I buy the dupe, I’ll still want the original. And when that original eventually shows up on The RealReal, looking still SO good and 48% off, I’ll cave. Then I’ve spent more, and now one of them will haunt me from the back of my closet..

Also (and maybe this sounds a little LA woo-woo) I only let things into my wardrobe that feel exactly right. No “close enough” colors. No “I’ll make it work” sizes. No “good enough for now” stand-ins. See because if I am OK accepting '‘good enough’ into my closet, where am I allowing that into my life? It is an energetic thing, if not a logical one. I want to have a high clearance bar for what I make space for. And I am not saying more expensive shit automatically clears that bar. I am saying if I REALLY want something, and I know I am going for a close second, that bar is automatically lowered.

So, after all my mighty spiritual chatter, tell me why I am in this dilemma over a Zara jacket.

I haven’t been inside a Zara store in years. I did go in yesterday with my sister. And then I see it. That beautiful denim-ish jacket that’s supporsed to be a dupe of Jplene. For the uninterested in The Row like me, Jolene = their quiet-luxury chore jacket that costs the same as a domestic flight (and some international ones).

A jacket I was never even into. I’m not a Row girl. I get the appeal. Beautiful construction, luxurious fabrics, the kind of quiet that whispers “I have money and inner peace”. But it’s just not me. I like a little tension. A little grit. The Row always felt like the wardrobe equivalent of a meditative retreat: pure, serene, and too quiet for someone whose style has a sense of irreverence.

Jolene! The OG.

Nevertheless, I try it on because curiosity won. And damn it.
It looks good.

So I buy it. I bring it home. And throw it on.

It’s a deep, serious blue, the kind that makes you look like you make matcha correctly. The cotton is soft in that “I’ve already lived a life” way. The collar is deliberate, and the oversized pockets are pure “artist who lives in a converted warehouse” energy.

I threw it on over a navy set I was already wearing and instantly became Sydney-me. She’s charming. She’s a little reckless. She wears this jacket to breakfast and then to the beach and doesn’t even check the mirror in between. She also doesn’t exist most of the year. But damn she looks good!

But next to rule #4, there also Rule #2: Don’t dress for a version of yourself that only exists on vacation.

So net-net, here’s where we’re at:

Reasons to keep:

1. It looks incredible. Even my “eh, I don’t care about clothes” mirror said, oh okay.

2. It’s perfect for weird LA weather: morning fog, mid-day fireball, then a sudden chill at 4:57 p.m.

3. It’s AUD $110, 100% cotton, and is pretty well constructed. Miraculous.

Reasons to return:

1. What if it unlocks a Jolene craving I can’t turn off? What if I start hunting or waiting for SOMEONE to get tired of theirs and put it up for resale?

2. What if it drags me into The Row rabbit hole? I can only afford one cult at a time and right now I’m already spiritually indebted to Tibi.

3. What if this only works for the aspirational, “g’day mate” version of me who listens to ambient playlists and knows where her passport is?

Let’s be real—I’ve duped before. Those dupes now live in the “maybe I’ll wear this to walk the dog” pile, aka the Bermuda Triangle of style. That wasn’t a smart decision for my wallet, my closet, or for the environment.

But this jacket doesn’t feel like a dupe. Because I didn’t go LOOKING for it. I wasn’t yearning for it. Does that make sense or am I just trying to make myself feel better? (Rhetorical, don’t answer please).

Tag’s still on. I haven’t dared take it off yet.
I’m giving myself 72 hours. I need to ponder over WHY I want it.
And if you see me in Sydney wearing it on a ferry, looking undeniably stylish and ~quiet luxury~?
Please don’t say anything. I’m fragile.

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